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08 July 2008 @ 01:57 pm
Holy crap on a stick! –  
The first thing I do after I wake up is use the bathroom. This morning I got up, scratched my bottom and waddled over to my small pissroom. When I opened the toilet I found a big tarantula.
 
I think I woke up the entire apartment building with my girl-like scream.
 
I’ve been afraid of tarantulas and other mutant spiders since I was a child. Mind you, I have no beef with the small sink or bathtub spiders you can squash with your pinkie. It’s the big ones that you need to call the Ghostbusters for that bother the hell out of me.
 
Luckily I’ve never been bitten by one. I’m especially glad I didn’t get bitten today because what I found in my toilet was a brown recluse, a species that, if you’re bitten by one, will make you lose a limb. Not fun.
 
I didn’t kill the spider myself. I was too afraid to get within ten feet of it. So I got a friend who lives two doors down to help me. She’s much tougher than I am when it comes to bugs and things. And now for something completely different –
 
Last night I watched the fourth episode of The Middleman, a new show airing on ABC Family. It amuses me so much, and the leading lady gives me warm fuzzies in my tum-tum. Interestingly enough, the title of this entry came from a line spoken in last night’s episode. Interesting, isn’t it?
 
J. G.
 
 
Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: “Uncle Jonny” – The Killers
 
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07 July 2008 @ 05:13 pm
My Fender Telecaster: December 25th, 1998 – July 7th, 2008  
I'll miss it.I’ve been a guitarist since I was 12 years old. That Christmas – December 25th, 1998 – my parents bought me a Fender Telecaster. My jaw dropped when I saw it leaning against the living room wall. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
 
What makes the Fender Telecaster so great is its simplicity. The Telecaster isn’t flashy. It isn’t show-offy. It’s simple – but good God, it is magnificent. It took me months to learn how to play well. Once I got the basics down I messed around with country, blues, and jazz. The Telecaster can do it all.
 
I’ve kept that Fender Telecaster with me ever since I first touched it. As the years dragged on, the tone started to flatten; the body began to wear our; the slickness of the instrument had vanished. I had moved on to the Fender Stratocaster and the Jazzmaster, but I still had my trusty Telecaster. But I knew I couldn’t keep it forever.
 
Early this afternoon I gave my Fender Telecaster away. It was hard. And I got no money for it. But I have to move on. I have to. I doubt I’ll buy a new one because I don’t have the money for it. Maybe if I get a steady job…
 
J. G.
 
 
Current Mood: blah
 
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06 July 2008 @ 11:45 am
The Salvation Army –  
Yesterday I went to the Salvation Army and donated some old books and clothes. After dropping those items off I went inside to look around and make fun of the obscure objects. I took pictures, a few of which I will post another time.
 
I looked in the book section first. Most of them were old and smelly. I found a children’s book my mother read to me when I was younger. It brought back some pleasant memories. (All the ladies in the house go “Aww!”)
 
There were old, smelly clothes, old toasters and microwaves, old televisions, old videos (including the Regis Philbin workout routine) and even an old piano.
 
The piano was at least 30 years old. The keys were dusty and it was out of tune. I played a short bit of Beethoven and the Asian woman with the wonky foot said I was good. I was proud of myself.
 
The agenda for tomorrow includes dropping my friend off at the airport (because she’s too cheap to buy a used car) and watching The Middleman on ABC Family. That show is the only reason I enjoy Monday’s now...
 
J. G.
 
 
Current Mood: lazy
 
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05 July 2008 @ 10:10 am
A purely fictional tale (but then again, maybe not) -  
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
 
 
Current Mood: infuriated
Current Music: “Layla” – Derek and the Dominos
 
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04 July 2008 @ 09:20 am
Smooth jazz –  
I’ve been listening to a smooth jazz station every night for the past year or so. I like it okay, but they play the weirdest artists – like Sting. Since when is Sting considered to be apart of the overall jazz movement?
 
The problem with smooth jazz is that it’s not really jazz. It’s more like pop music with a saxophone or something. How else can you explain Kenny G.? When you listen to jazz, you know it’s jazz. When you listen to this smooth jazz stuff, you think you’re listening to pop most of the time. It’s embarrassing.
 
Even though I don’t like smooth jazz, I listen to the station. It helps me sleep. Real jazz doesn’t make you sleepy. If I find a real jazz station I’d be tapping my foot all night long, boy. There’s no joking about that.
 
I’m going to listen to some Kenny G. now.
 
J. G.
 
 
Current Mood: nostalgic
 
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03 July 2008 @ 08:55 pm
A trip to the bookstore –  
I decided to take a special trip to Borders early this afternoon. It was a 40 mile trip from where I live and it was quite worth it.
 
Unlike some people, I go to Borders to buy books, not crap like Green Day CDs and Juno on DVD. I first looked through the U. S. History section and found the most recent biography of Franklin D. Roosevelt, the third part of a series of biographies on Lyndon B. Johnson, the second part of a planned trilogy of biographies on Theodore Roosevelt, and other amusing things. After browsing around a few minutes, I hit the jackpot: George Orwell, J. D. Salinger and Jack Kerouac…within five steps of each other. I grabbed those books like a kid in a candy store.
 
Of Orwell’s stuff, I picked out A Collection of Essays, which includes “Politics and the English Language” and “Why I Write,” two essays of his that I’ve been trying to find for a long time. Of Salinger’s work, I purchased Nine Stories, which includes the classic “A Perfect Day for Bananafish,” and Franny and Zooey, a book which my roommate claims we had already (this turned out to be false). Of Kerouac’s work, I bought just one: On the Road. I had a copy a few years ago but lost it in a fire.
 
I’ve read five chapters of On the Road so far and it has blown my mind, even more so than the first time I read it. Kerouac was a genius, plain and simple.
 
J. G.
 
 
Current Mood: contemplative
 
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